One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize