pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
