How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
