just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Even my vagina gasped.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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