I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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