We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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