I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
