Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
