I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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