I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
