woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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