That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
