i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
