Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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