You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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