I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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