2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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