I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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