you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
May the power of my ass compel you!!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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