wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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