Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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