you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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