Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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