Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize