we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
