I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
