physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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