So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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