I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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