I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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