I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize