ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
