Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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