I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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