So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize