All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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