this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
