Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
