At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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