I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
