Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
