my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
