I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
