Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
