I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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