I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize