Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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