matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
