Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
