Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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