Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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