Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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