i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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