i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize