I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're breaking my sexual little heart
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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