Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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