I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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