Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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