Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
